Have Keyblade, Will Travel
by Dainty-Devil
Summary: Kairi really, really, really wants to come along on Sora and Riku's next adventure. Sora and Riku really, really, really don't. Rated T for language.


Have Keyblade, Will Travel

Sora sat restlessly on the edge of his bed, staring intently at the wall opposite him. The windows behind him were open and every once in a while a breeze would disturb the curtains. He has been waiting like this for only five minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Every time the curtains rustled in the wind he tensed, fear he might miss some small sound indicating the arrival of his demise. Another minute slowly passed by. Nothing came. Sora was beginning to think he should go find Riku himself, before something terrible happened. Or in case something terrible already had. Suddenly, a point of bright light appeared on the wall, darting around from left to right. Sora gave a relieved sigh. It was the signal. The coast was clear.

Still cautious, Sora tip toed out of his room, downstairs and out the door to meet Riku on his back porch. Riku looked just as tense as Sora.

"You didn't have any trouble did you?" Sora asked.

"Nah, not much…she called me three times wondering if something was going on" Riku replied as Sora poked his head out the gate.

"What did you say?" Sora motioned for Riku to follow him, and they began to walk down the path to the beach.

"The first time I told her it was a surprise. The second time I told her it was for someone's birthday and we were busy planning. The third time she called she said she had talked to everyone and no one's birthday was coming up. Then she said she was coming over, and here I am now." Sora shivered just thinking about what would happen if Kairi found them. In the quiet of the early morning they could hear a phone ringing.

"Crap, that's probably her phoning my house!" Sora said, and they both quickened their pace. They were trying to maintain the appearance of walking normally to the beach, complicated by pockets stuffed with potions and bodies laced with different pieces of discrete armour. Last night Sora had received a summons from King Mickey, asking for him and Riku to come to the castle as soon as possible. Fearing Kairi's threat of coming along on their next adventure, they had begun preparing in private, hoping that Kairi wouldn't catch on. Unfortunately she had. Sora's Gummi ship lay in a concealed alcove some way down the beach, which Kairi hopefully didn't know about. Their goal was to get there and get away before Kairi noticed something was up, but the odds of that were sliming by the moment. Finally they reached the beach, and to their horror they saw a pink clad figure waiting, arms crossed and staring right at them.

"Shit" said Riku under his breath.

"Busted" replied Sora.

They both tried to play it cool as they approached Kairi, but the jig was obviously up. Before they were even within 10 metres of her she began spouting off violently, causing the two boys to cringe.

"See, I don't know about you two, but I recall promising that the next adventure would be all of us together! All three! Sora, Riku AND KAIRI!" She was now waving her arms wildly, reminding Sora of a sped up Xemnas. He giggled, and Riku caught on to the joke and began laughing as well.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" She slapped Sora across the face, but her feeble arm barely made an impact. This caused Riku to laugh even more.

"I said…IT'S NOT FUNNY!" With that Kairi whipped out her hand, calling forth a shiny golden Keyblade covered in flowers and butterflies.

"Look Kairi, the summons said me and Riku, so…" said Sora apologetically.

"Well, I sure King Mickey wouldn't mind an extra Keybearer along! It can't hurt! I can help you guys!" Kairi was now waving her Keyblade in the air, causing Sora and Riku to back up.

"Okay, Kairi…look at your Keyblade. Look at it. Seriously!" Riku said, dodging a swipe at his head.

"WHAT ABOUT MY FUCKING KEYBLADE?!" Kairi began a long steam of curses, stomping her foot and gesturing madly with her blade.

"Kairi…Kairi…KAIRI CALM DOWN!" Sora yelled, ducking from a swipe at his head.

"WHAT?!" Kairi's torrent of profanity finally stopped, she stood heaving in front of them, trying to fire laser beams of hate out of her eyes.

"You do realize that these quests involve danger and hurting things and killing things right, Kairi? I mean, you wouldn't hurt a fly" Sora tried in vain to reason with her.

"Hurt a fly? Hurt a fly? I'm going to hurt whatever I damn well please, WHICH HAPPENS TO BE YOU RIGHT NOW!" Kairi flew at the two boys, who were already running in the direction of the Gummi ship.

"Riku, she's going to eat us!" Sora said, yelling over the rush of passing air and Kairi's renewed cursing.

"What if she grabs on the ship when we're taking off?" Riku shouted.

"This calls for a change of strategy!"

"What?" Riku looked shocked as Sora began to slow down.

"Just follow my lead" Sora said, getting ready to fend off Kairi.

"YOU BASTARDS BETTER STOP RUNNING!" She bellowed at them.

"Okay. Okay, Kairi. You're right. You're right okay. Totally correct 100% exactly accurate and spot on in everyway." Sora shielded his face, but the Keyblade stopped an inch above his nose. Kairi looked confused, and stared blankly for a moment. Then her entire attitude changed from one of a blood thirsty hydra back to stereotypically sweet Kairi.

"Well, I'm really glad you finally came around. I was worried for a minute there. I really thought…" Kairi blabbered on for quiet some time about friendship and promises, Riku looking stunned as Sora started digging around in his pockets.

"Distract her" Sora mouthed to Riku, a pleading look on his face.

"Yeah, Kairi, I mean, you could uh…totally…be a better fighter…" Riku bullshitted his way through why exactly Kairi should come along, making big gestures and keeping her attention on the horizon by making allusions to other worlds. Finally Sora gave him a nod, and he returned back to Sora's side.

"Not to mention Kairi, you're really intelligent. You know so much stuff that I would never be able to figure out." Sora smiled at Kairi, scratching his head and winking discretely at Riku.

"And that means what exactly?" Kairi trailed off.

"Well," piped in Riku, "you can answer all sorts of questions for us on our mission."

"Like what?" Kairi put a hand on her hip, looking sceptical.

"Like, does this rag smell like chloroform?" Sora shoved the soaked rag into Kairi's face. She resisted for a moment before swaying a bit on her feet and crumpling into a heap on the sand.

"Uhh," Riku stared at Sora, then at Kairi. "We should probably run for it."

/.\

Once they had safely arrived at Disney Castle and the ship had been carefully checked for Kairis Riku finally broke the silence that had taken over from the time they sprinted down the beach and flew the ship at breakneck speeds to Disney Castle.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing, just something I picked up on my travels." Sora said nonchalantly, grinning devilishly at Riku.

"I'm gonna have to remember that…" The two boys laughed as they finally started their new quest, without Kairi, to their intense delight.


End file.
